Cremation is the most popular funeral option for body disposition in the United States, accounting for over 60% of all funeral arrangements. This number will continue to grow largely due to the affordability and flexibility of the option. Perhaps the most significant aspect of cremation is the time it affords families to grieve, reflect, and prepare a ceremony that truly honors the deceased. While some families choose to keep ashes, many find comfort in creating a permanent resting place. This practice connects modern cremation with its historical roots, where fire symbolized purification, and burial completed the transition by offering the remains back to the earth as part of the natural cycle.
For those who choose to do so, burying cremated remains provides a dedicated space for remembrance. It creates a tangible connection to the deceased, offering a site where family and friends can gather, reflect, and honor their loved one’s life. Burial can also reinforce a bond with the land or community, grounding grief in a place of significance. Sometimes, having a physical location fosters a sense of presence for our grief, of knowing where to go when seeking solace.
Recently, we held a cremation burial at Campo de Estrellas that was as meaningful and cathartic as any full-body burial we’ve witnessed. Poems were read, music was played, and memories were shared. The atmosphere was one of deep respect and intention, a fitting tribute to a life well lived.
Preparing for the Burial
The process began a few weeks prior when the family selected a burial site. At Campo de Estrellas, our cremation plots are 2 feet by 2 feet, opening up more options around the cemetery in terms of placement. The family chose a serene spot among a stand of trees, where shade offers respite in the warmer months.
The Ceremony
On the day of the burial, the family gathered on benches near the chosen site to begin the ceremony. At our cemetery, cremation plots are hand-dug, as they only need to be about two feet deep. The family made this task part of the ceremony, pausing readings to take turns removing earth from the spot. We provided a post-hole digger to ease the process, which was especially helpful given our region’s often compacted soil. Fortunately, recent rains had softened the ground, making the dig smoother than expected.
Once the grave was prepared, the family prepared the ashes for burial. The ashes arrived in a standard temporary plastic container from the funeral home, inside of which they were sealed in a plastic bag with a zip tie. This is a common practice, so those planning to scatter or transfer ashes should be prepared with scissors. I had one on hand, and together we carefully opened the bag.
Rather than pouring the ashes directly into the grave, the family chose a more intimate approach: each member took a handful of ashes and placed them into the earth. Wearing special gloves purchased for the occasion, they knelt down, cradled the ashes like something sacred, and spoke words of sorrow, love, and peace. The act was deeply personal and moving to witness, as both the young and old participated in laying their loved one to rest.
When they had finished, they took turns covering the grave with the soil they had removed earlier. To mark the site, they placed a hand-painted stone atop the fresh earth, surrounded by clippings of greenery from the cemetery. A soft breeze rustled through the trees, as if nature itself acknowledged the moment.
Now, the cemetery quietly holds their loved one among native grasses and young saplings beginning to reclaim the landscape. Nearby, a small tree has emerged, finally pushing through the soil after patiently waiting for the right conditions.
The family mentioned they would visit whenever they were in town, marking the beginning of what could become a cherished tradition. Their choice to bury the ashes was not about making a grand gesture but about establishing a relationship with the land and honoring their grief process.
A Transformative Ritual
Cremation burials provide a form of closure through the material presence of a dedicated space. The act of choosing a location, conducting a ritual, and committing ashes to the soil fosters a deep sense of meaning. Even in an era where convenience often dictates funeral choices, this practice reminds us that grief is a process, one that continues long after the flames have died out.
